Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
