She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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