Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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