I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
