we have officially lost it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
