I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
