Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Actions speak louder than pants.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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