she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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