escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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