would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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