Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
