Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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