i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
