ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
