Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
