What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
