at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
