TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
