make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
