So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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