Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you made out with another girl for some wings
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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