I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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