i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
