I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
COCAINE IS GR8
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize