So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
