We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Sorry about my life...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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