A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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