dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
