Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
