She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
