as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
