Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
