Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
