Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
do herpes really smell.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
