I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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