My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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