Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
