I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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