Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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