I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
