He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
