he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
