My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
