im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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