i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
