i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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