Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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