She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
