No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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