I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
